Tea & Chat // The Reason for my Disappearance

Greetings, bookworms. Do you remember me? 

The last time I wrote a blog post was… weeks ago, possibly almost a month ago. You’re probably wondering where this bookworm blogging friend if yours disappeared to (and if not, then I must not have been gone for too long!). This morning I was scrolling through some blog posts and came across Jamie from The Perpetual Page Turner share a “If We Were Having Coffee” post and it inspired me to come back to the blogosphere and write again. And that is exactly what I am going. 
I want to start off my emergence back into the blogosphere with a cozy chat: hence, the title: Tea & Chat. This is going to be my personal feature where I sit down with you, with my favourite beverage (and you’ve got to sit down with yours too!) and chat to you about life. Because ultimately, blogging is the outlet for my soul, and part of that is sharing a snippet on my personal self to you all. 

Let’s chat!


 

It’s been a long day – a long couple of weeks, in fact – so that calls for a step up to something more relaxing than tea. Hot chocolate (with a ton of chocolate sprinkles included, generously). I barely ever have hot chocolate so that’s saying something. What are you having? A hot cup of tea? My favourite is English Breakfast, I get it everywhere I go to eat that serves tea. However, green tea and lemon is wonderful too! 

What’s been going on? 

University threw up on me. It’s a funny way to put it, but in a way it’s kind of true. The first week was wonderful, even the second week was great but by the third week, the workload got crazy. I’ve never had to read so much before, and honestly, I was not ready for it. Even now, the workload is crazy and I’m glad and lucky to have been able to sit down with you all for this chat. That’s not to say that I don’t like it – I love it! The environment is the best. But the workload – oh man. 

I wrote my first essay for uni yesterday and dang, it drained the brain power right out of me! I don’t know whether I’m thinking too hard and putting pressure on myself because I’m writing an essay for a different audience, or if it was actually as hard as I felt it was. 

My time is being eaten away by everything in my life, to the point where I have no time to read and absolutely no time to blog (except for today, of course). I’m involved in a lot of things – my involvement in youth group takes up a lot of my time, along with church commitments and I’ve found myself going out almost every single day and coming home too late and too tired to do much else but try and fail to do extra homework before crashing to sleep at night. Frankly, it is the most exhausting thing ever. I can’t remember the last time I felt so mentally exhausted, besides the time when I fell mentally ill. 

I’m starting to feel like I’m drifting away from what is important in life – and what I mean by important is the things that are important for my personal, spiritual well-being. Passions and hobbies are things that make you feel light and happy and fulfill that particular void in your soul. For me, that’s writing and reading and with how hectic life has been, I’ve completely turned away from these because I’ve had ‘no time’ for it. To be completely transparent with you, it breaks my heart and right now, I can feel the weight that it’s putting on me. I’m realising that if I’m not doing the things that I love, I don’t feel happy. I feel empty and I feel those passions slowly fading away. I encourage you to never forget to spend time on your passions and hobbies, even if it means sacrificing and saying no to something else. 

Some aspects of my life are drifting away as I mentioned about my blogging and reading. However, I am determined to revive this! They say that when you leave high school, it’s so easy to drift away from your friends because you’re going your separate ways. Of course, there are those who stick with you, no matter what situation. I’m sure I’m not the only one who believed that this would not happen to me. Now I’m going through the crisis where I can see this drift happening. It’s harder when it’s happening to the friends I consider my best friends. I’m an overthinker so I don’t know how much I’m actually blowing out of proportion. Friends are important, and I feel like I’m losing that too. I’m sorry for all this gloom, but I wanna be real with you guys, my beloved readers and blogging friends! 

On happier notes, I have some new obsessions. Studyblrs have been my source of obsession and motivation. I spend most of my free time scrolling through Tumblr, drooling over those beautifully set out pictures and gloriously written study notes and bullet journals, and planners and AGH. I’ve also found how helpful studyblrs are in giving study tips. I love it. Do you follow studyblrs? I also love to re-write my notes to be aesthetically pleasing – and easier to read and revise over. But mainly because I like making my notes look cute. 

I bought a whole lot of stationery the other day and I do not regret the amount of money I spent to get it all. It was all worth it for those pens and colourful fineliners and highlighters. In fact, I think I need more. (Don’t argue with me, okay? I’m an obsessed little potato).

I’ve started watching Gotham and Daredevil on Netflix. Well, so far I’ve only start watching Gotham, but I will be getting into Daredevil soon. It’s been a while since I sat down and took the time to just do something that doesn’t involve using my brain or my (poor and awkward) social skills. I’ve seen three episodes of Gotham so far and I actually really like it. I didn’t think I’d get into it because of it’s genre, but surprisingly, I am enjoying it! 

I finished The Ask and the Answer today and MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS. It’s taken me so long to finish it, but finally I have, and my mind is blown and my heart is wrenched. Reading the last few chapters today was intense and emotionally challenging. I found myself caring for characters I initially thought I wouldn’t! 

I’ve been playing more piano lately, so I haven’t completely lost all of my passions. I’ve been playing piano for church and learning new songs which is wonderful, but I need a new piano because my keyboard is old and cheap and sucks. But I digress, playing piano has been so fun and stress relieving. 

I think that I’ve come to a realisation that I need to say no to things more often. I say yes to 99.9% of things, and I finally see why people say you should learn to say no. You can’t please everyone and maintain yourself at the same time. In the end, you need to make sure you are taking care of yourself. 

Enough about me! How are you? How have things been in the time that I’ve been away? I miss all your wonderful thoughts and comments! 

48 thoughts on “Tea & Chat // The Reason for my Disappearance

  1. It’s great to have you back. I’ve been away too because of med school and i understand everything your talking about workload. I hope you’ll be able to adjust completely to this new chapter of your life and don’t forget to relax!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’m so happy to find this post! I’ve been really busy myself so I haven’t really been active in the blogosphere either, but I’m glad to come back and find a post written by you 🙂 I really love your new blog’s lay out and this new feature is lovely too. I’m glad that you’re having fun at university, though I hope you’ll have some more free time to relax and do the things you love, because that IS important and it’s such an awful feeling knowing that you’ve barely spent time on your passions. Don’t worry about losing your friends Josie, just message them as often as you can and if you have the time and energy meet up with them. I’m starting my last term of my first year next week and meeting up with one of my friends from secondary school tomorrow, in about two weeks I’m meeting up with two others, so even almost a year later, they’re still my best friends 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Michelle, thank you for your lovely comment!
      It really warms my heart when I hear you and others telling me you’re glad to see a post from me! And I’m glad you like the new layout, I’m still experimenting and trying to make it better, hehe!
      It is really an awful feeling, I feel so deprived!
      Oh that’s good to hear, that encourages me to keep my head up. I’ll definitely be keeping in as close contact with them as possible! ☺️

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I missed you, Josie!! *gives you a thousand virtual hugs and chocolate bars because why not* But omg I can totally empathize. I’ve taken an accidental hiatus too–it’s been SO LONG since I connected with the blogosphere. Life can get so busy! I’m not in uni yet, but I’m still being plagued by so much stuff agh. So I hope 100% that the workload and everything becomes easier for you–though I’m glad to hear you’re enjoying university environment!! ❤ Tons of hugs and wishes, and hopes that everything turns out okay for you!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Eep! *gives a thousand virtual hugs and chocolates to you too because you are so sweet*.
      Agh, it’s crazy how life can just get in the way sometimes, hey? It’s all right, we are on this journey together, so let’s push through together!
      Thank you Analee! *hugs*

      Liked by 1 person

  4. I missed you, Josie! I know exactly what you mean by how college life is both wonderful and draining. Strangely, I didn’t start my blog until after I started college but I definitely felt the stressful moments where I seemed to be juggling too much at once. But anyways, I love the approach you’re taking with being honest and sharing what has been going on in your life with us! Unprecedented hiatuses are healthy and are understandable. And I’m really happy to hear that you’re enjoying university! Don’t stress too much about the essays; it must be the perfectionist in you putting pressure on yourself. And agreed, saying no is difficult but it has to be done sometimes. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I missed you too, Summer!
      Thank you, I’m glad you can relate and I’m happy that you like the way I’m doing this. ☺️
      Yes, university, despite the workload, is wonderful. I absolutely love it!
      You’re right, “no” needs to come out of my mouth a little more often. Hehe. 😄

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I missed you while you were busy Josie! What you said about hobbies and making time for your passions and what you enjoy is so true. I tried to take a break from blogging when things were getting too much in real life and I actually felt worse because then I didn’t have anything to help me destress! Uni is a trying time but I promise you, you will get used to it. It’s hard work but lots of fun. Don’t be too hard on yourself Josie, you’re an awesome person and remember to look after number 1. *hugs*

    Liked by 1 person

  6. This is a great post Josie, it’s so real and I 100% relate. I understand because of how scared I was when I first started University, the work load was so big and the sheer amount of books I was expected to read was overwhelming. Now i’m in second year and I do still feel like i’m drowning but I’m making sure to carve out time for reading for fun and relaxing.
    Also friends drifting apart is really hard as well, sadly I drifted apart from a few of my friends but I also created some wonderful new ones.

    It’s just a very big change. I hope you are liking it despite the work load though!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you!
      Im glad to see many others have been in the same boat but have pushed through. It’s encouraging for me to hear.
      Thank you, I really am enjoying it! University is so amazing. 😌

      Liked by 1 person

  7. Uni is definitely a very busy place, Josie!
    I hope that you find the time for what’s important in your life though – don’t lose sight of what’s important to you!
    Studyblrs are awesome haha – I really could spend half a day looking through them, instead of actually studying… xD

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I think it is totally understandable to have lost the time to blog. In fact, I am often surprised at those who seem to be able to juggle so much at once. The piano is an awesome way to unwind and reflect. Just think. One day you are going to wow us with one of your own fantastic novels! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Time is a struggle in general. There’s so much you want to do in such a short amount of time!
      Those who can juggle so much are those that I look up to! Time management skills to the max.
      Oh I hope it one day gets to that point! 😄

      Like

  9. Hey! I’m glad you’re back.

    Starting university is one of the craziest times of your life. It’s so different from anything that you’ve experienced before so with that it’s inevitable that it’s going to take some time for you to find your balance again. Please don’t be so hard on yourself. Books and blogging can wait for you while you establish your new rhythm.

    The reading load feels insane when you first start. One thing I did was calculate exactly how many pages I needed to read per day. Something about that made the whole thing feel more manageable to me. Don’t be afraid to go and talk to your tutors if you’re freaking out. I didn’t do it for the longest time because I felt too intimidated, but once I finally did it it everything started to improve in a big way. There’ll always be the occasional weird one, but overall they are pretty nice people (just really, really smarts ones haha).

    You will be okay and you will figure this out. Now that I’ve left university I’ve found that so much of life is trying to achieve balance. As soon as I think I have it, something throws it off course again. Overall though I feel like with every obstacle I get a little better at finding it again.

    If you ever feel panicked, just blog about it and all the twenty-something and soon-to-be graduates on here will tell you all the reasons why it’s going to be okay.

    And watch Daredevil. It’s really awesome and the guy is super hot.

    Also (if you have time), you should read Fangirl if you haven’t already. It’s probably the best books on the freshman experience I have ever read.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad to be back!
      Oh thank you for that encouraging post. It’s good to hear from someone who has already experienced it all – thank goodness for the blogosphere! Now I have people who know all about it, like you, to talk about it with.
      Oh I will watch Daredevil… As soon as I find the time! Hehe
      I’ve read Fangirl! It’s a lovely book 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  10. I am actually disappearing too…because of university. I’m in my final year and I’m finding it hard to balance the uni/blogging, so taking some time out to focus on the studies.
    Don’t put too much pressure on yourself, Just write in a style that you enjoy and feel comfortable doing is some advice I got.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. Pingback: Why Blogging is THE VERY BEST THING | Get Up Offa That Slump Blogging Extravaganza  – Becca and Books

  12. WELCOME BACK!! *showers you with chocolate* *then pie* *remembers you hate pie* *takes pie back and eats it* *showers you with more chocolate because who can hate chocolate*
    I totally understand needing to disappear. (Remember when I did it for, like, YEARS?!?! Not really but…) breaks are actually really nice, you feels so refreshed when you get back!
    Ah, university. I had midterms just a little bit ago, and then I got sick, so I took a bit of a break as well! School seems to be getting in the way of all of us, so you’re not alone!
    I’m so happy you’re back, but most of all I hope you find time to just sane and happy even if it means taking a little more of a break from blogging!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Becca! Oh you always bring positive vibes with your comments, I love it 😄
      Oh yes I remember when you disappeared! I mean, this wasn’t even a blogging break for me! I disappeared because I had no time to blog *sob* BUT I’m back for now!
      I’m glad we are in this together! I hope your midterms were okay!

      Liked by 1 person

  13. Welcome back! That is a great post of ask and answer a great idea for people to see where you are at in your life. I agree school sometimes takes everything out of you and hobbies get away from you. I hope that your schedule turns around soon into something manageable and what you want it to be!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. I’m really, really glad to hear again from you on here, I’ve missed your blog posts! I can get how the change from high school to uni can be a bit hectic, and stressful, especially with essay writings, drifting apart from friends and everything…I’ve been through the same experience, and if I can offer some piece of advice, it’s that in those hard moments, it’s important to focus on what you love. Friends come and go, that’s so sad, I have been growing apart from friends since I went to uni, moved away and everything. Some friendships are stronger than others, but you shouldn’t stop thinking that friends will stuck with you. Because they will, and the stronger friendships won’t ever stop 🙂
    I really hope you’ll find the right balance between blogging, reading, uni, and life commitments. What’s most important is that you can do what you love, but don’t feel too overwhelmed to do it all. It’s great to take some time to think. Blogging shouldn’t be a chore either, and if you’re too tired to do it, it’s good to take a step back, too. 🙂
    I hope you’re liking your uni courses so far, Josie, and even if I miss reading your blog posts an awful lot, I’ll be happy if everything’s okay 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Marie! I’m so glad to see your lovely comments, I consider you a dear friend on the blogosphere. 😊 Thank you for the advice and encouragement! I definitely want to keep up my blog posts, at least twice a week, from now on. Because it’s something I love and seeing comments like yours encourages me even more! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Hi!! Sounds like you’ve had a busy month or so. Thank you for catching us up on what you’ve been up to. Sounds like you’ve had a rough and busy time. I absolutely understand that blogging is hard to do when life makes you way too busy 🙂 I’m glad you’re back, I’ve missed your posts!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Josie! Hi – that is, if you still could remember me ha-ha. Anyways, I’m really, really glad you’re back and I just wanted to say that I really do feel those boatload of uni works and stuff to do. It’s draining but it’s kind of relieving for me to be having to do something! And Studyblr sounds great – I’m awful at note writing and by the end of the day, when I open my notebook, all I can see are scribbles of junk and heap! It’s really frustrating and I agree – we all wanted to have school notes that are aesthetically pretty. Hey, it’s a study motivation too!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Hi Joyce! Oh, my memory is so horrible, I apologise if I can’t remember! *gives cake in return for horrible remembrance skills*
      You should check out studyblrs! They’re basically Tumblr accounts that dedicate their accounts to study pictures and amazing and helpful study tips! It’ll be really motivational, for you I think, as it is for me! 😊

      Also, I’m so glad that you are actually happy that I’m back. It makes me feel very welcomed and accepted! (Even though I’ve been blogging for a year now!)

      Liked by 1 person

  17. Ohh, I have a low tolerance for graphic violence, and Gotham’s ‘shock value’ approach to gruesome fare makes it hard for me to watch. Gruesome gore just for the sake of gruesome gore. Miss Plumtartt and I still watch it, but it is kind of like watching a car wreck. I wish they would get their storytelling act together. May I say this? Jim Gordon is no hero!
    I strongly prefer the Netflix shows over Gotham. On CW, Flash is still good, but Arrow has gone downhill.
    Daredevil has a lot of violence, but for some reason it is presented in such a way that it is easier to take. The fight scenes are unlike anything else ever filmed. Each Netflix Marvel superhero series has at least one iconic fight scene per season. The Netflix superhero shows of DareDevil, Jessica Jones, and Daredevil Season 2 are the best tv arcs ever. {Except for Scream Queens!} I can’t wait for Luke Cage and Iron Fist!
    Good luck in your life at university, Josie. Your readers are rooting for you. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Fair enough! I feel as though there’s more violence and gore in Daredevil vs. Gotham though. Honestly, I’m watching it as a way to wind down so I’m not particularly critiquing it. But I kind of get what you mean about Gotham. It’s a bit all over the place.
      I’m excited to jump into Daredevil!

      Thank you! 😄

      Liked by 1 person

  18. Saying no is a huge problem for me as well. I feel like I always have the responsibility to do something, even though that is far from truth. It is getting out of hand so much at time that I feel like the weight of it all is going to crush me. That in turn just makes me focus on it more rather than the things I love, like you do, reading and blogging. More often than not I am too tired for that now though and it makes me sad. I hope you find the time and inner freedom to do what you like again. Sometimes taking a step back is just what we need.

    Liked by 2 people

    • That’s exactly how I feel sometimes too. I sit around and wonder the importance of this thing I’m going to say no to. My biggest problem with saying no is possibly the fact that I find it hard to prioritise what is important and what is less important. I see it all as important!
      Hopefully that will change, for the both of us! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

      • Exactly! You put it just the way it feels for me too. I cannot really distinguish what is truly important and what could be avoided or postponed or whatever. It all has the same level of importance in my head. I truly hope so for the both of us, too ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  19. I remember feeling exactly the same way when I entered uni, when the wonder and the excitement dissolved a bit and the reality of what I got myself into began to settle in. I found that the first year is the toughest. I have to admit that I’m not much of a diligent student when I was in high school, and I certainly don’t do my reading prior to class. So when college threw me chapters to read, tables to memorize, and presentations to prepare I was blown away and I kind of panicked. My first year was the worst, I thought I will get kicked out of the uni. During the summer, I had to repeat a class. I think that was the eye-opener for me.

    I had to sacrifice a lot of things that I used to do. Like you, I realized the importance of holding on to our passions and hobbies because they will be that much needed relief. However, I also knew that I have to undergo the hard work too, because it’s sort of a mental transformation for me, honing me for the reality of adulthood. I’m in an allied medical profession and I deal with patients on a daily basis. I believed that college was grueling and unforgiving to me because nothing less will prepare me for what the future will require from me. Does that make sense? lol

    I went to a Catholic university and I attended church almost everyday I was in uni. It was like an anchor to me. I poured all my doubts and fears on the pew. It really helped to also have that form of encouragement and guidance.

    Anyway, good luck to you Josie! I know you got this in the bag and just need time to get used to it. And I’m sure everyone in your class feels the same way 😀

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you! Your comment is really encouraging and I really do appreciate the time you took to read and comment on my post, it makes me feel so much more relaxed.

      I’m glad to hear it’s not easy for others too. I thought I’d be prepared for it, but I suppose not! I think I do need time to adjust, I just hope I can keep myself on track in the process.

      I totally get what you mean about the toughness being necessary! You go through the hard stuff now so that when you’re out of studying and in life, you’re prepared for almost anything!

      I’m a Christian and I go to church, so going to church and having my quiet time is always amazing to just free my burdens. It does get hard though!

      Thank you again! ❤️

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Thank you for writing this beautiful post Josie, and for catching us up on your life! (My reply is going to be long, so it’s okay if you don’t reply to it – I just want to offer some support!)

    *hugs* It sounds like you’ve been having a rough time lately, and I completely understand and empathize. University can be super duper crazy (and it feels like all the lecturers are conspiring to schedule tests/due dates all on the same few days…). When I was in university, it was get up, go to class, come home and study study work work until late at night. I felt like my life was out of balance, and it was so tiring and draining. I remember doing my first test and doing really badly in it – I cried! I worked so hard for it, but didn’t get the result that I wanted. But, that first test and result taught me resilience. So, take every failure as a lesson, and you’ll never really fail.

    I’m glad you’ve realized that you need time for your hobbies – we need something to help us unwind, and since you’re a creative person, getting that creativity flowing is important to your wellbeing – or at least, from my own experiences. I’m not sure if this is fantastic advice, but if you feel like you need a break, go for it. One good solid day of ‘productive’ rest can be so beneficial to a week of work/studying.

    I completely relate to your friends thing. It is so hard to keep in contact because school kept you together and made you see each other every day, and then suddenly uni has thrust all these responsibilities and given you different lives. I lost contact with a lot of friends during university (and it wasn’t from lack of trying), but you’ll see who are the friends that will stay with you through thick and thin, who don’t need daily dates to stay friends with you, and who understand when life gets busy. Those, I think, were the friends I wanted to keep. Growing up and transitioning to these new stages of life is weird because it changes relationships so much… but it sounds like you and your friends were close, so I am confident that you guys will be okay.

    And yes, learn to say no! Set limits! Saying no is, and can be, healthy for yourself. So I completely support this.

    You can do it Josie! Things may feel hard now, but I promise that things will get easier and better. It might have to get worse first, but it’ll only be up and up from there. All the best, lovey. *hugs again!*

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for your encouraging and heart felt comment! I really thank you for your support for me in this, CW! I’m tearing up a little as I read your comment, and seriously, please do not apologise for it being a long comment. It means a lot to me!

      I’m glad to hear that you went through a similar situation as me, it makes me feel a better, knowing that it passes. I just hope my mental state doesn’t collapse on me again like it did late last year!

      I’m definitely going to try and implement at least 30 minutes of creative outlet in my day from now on – whether it be random creative writing, or writing a blog post! Or even reading blog posts or reading a book. I really want to start working on balance now.

      And whether it’s good advice or not, I think I need that productive rest day! Haha!

      I hope the friend thing doesn’t turn out the way I fear it will. It’s something that is worrying me the most, in the back of my mind!

      Oh, I had to say no to a couple of things today, and I felt so conflicted! It’s something I’m going to have to work on.

      Thank you again, so so so much! Your response fills me with encouragement and confidence to keep persevering! *hugs* ❤️

      Like

  21. The Ask and the Answer is amazing. I won’t say too much to avoid spoilers for anyone else, but I think I know who you mean when you say you ended up caring for characters you didn’t think you would. My heart was sore at the end of that book 😦

    Liked by 1 person

Tell me your fabulous thoughts, bookworms!

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s